AUDITIONS - Saturday 29 July

“Heaven Help Us!”

By: Tim Hambleton
Dir: Phil Dean


In Heaven's waiting room, Angela is filling in for St Peter, who's on leave. Responsible for selecting those allowed to enter Heaven, she’s made a few mistakes recently and has admitted a few 'unsuitables'.

Unfortunately God's CEO is suspicious and is keeping a close eye on Angela's work. As there are no vacancies in Heaven at present, a group of eclectic characters gathers in the waiting room, vying to get through to the Pearly Gates. But is Angela's work still less than satisfactory?

Will the lurking CEO expel them all - including Angela - to that 'other' place?

Heaven Help Us


Angela Fraser. Aged 40s - 50s. Filling in for St Peter as Heaven’s gatekeeper. Doesn’t suffer fools. Blunt. Matter of fact but likeable. Sensible. Dry sense of humour when she uses it. Dressed in white.
Charles Little. A new arrival to Heaven. Aged 40s - 50s. Timid and nervous to begin with but quickly opens up, becomes more extrovert and talks a lot. Former librarian. Wears blue surgical smock with bright satin boxer shorts underneath. Extremely religious. Geeky. Snooty accent.
Simone van de Brun. God’s Chief Executive Officer. Late 30s/early 40s. Dictatorial. A bit overweight. Snobbish. Cold. Speaks clearly and precisely. Wears white. Fancies Trevor.
Trevor Brown (Trev). A new arrival to Heaven. Aged 40s - 50s. Loud. Full of life. Uncouth but not totally stupid. Dressed in old jeans and a farmers shirt. No camouflage gear or gun. A man’s man. Not religious. Extremely confident. Dislikes Natasha.
Natasha Hollows. A new arrival to Heaven. Aged 17. Well educated. Wealthy parents, rebelled. Confident. Selfish. Real attitude problem but mellows. Nose stud. Tattoo. Jeans, T-Shirt, hair messed up with bright colourful highlights. Annoys Trevor.
Dorothy Simpson. A new arrival to Heaven. In her 70s. Appears kind, genteel at first but has sinister side. Granny type. Wears a dressing gown, and large granny knickers underneath a skirt. Has wrinkled skin coloured tights. Hair standing on end - has been electrocuted. Eccentric. Says things incorrectly. Has a handbag with knitting in it. Pulls out a small bottle of Gordons Gin.

Auditions (by appointment), contact Phil 0275398111 for audition times and/or further information


Theatre Fest 2016

Congratulations to all cast and directors of the three Elmwood Players one act plays entered in this year’s NZTF Play Festival:

  • “A Night Out”,

  • “Cosmic Fruit Bowl” and

  • “The Dumb Waiter”.

“The Dumb Waiter” directed by Sonya Cameron,represented Elmwood Players at the National Finals in Invercargill.

The Dumb Waiter

“The Dumb Waiter”

Cosmic Fruit

“Cosmic Fruit Bowl”

A Night Out

“A Night Out”

Winners of 2015 Woodies

Full Length Production:

The Hen Night Epiphany (Dir: Garry Thomas)

Director, Full Length:

Garry Thomas (The Hen Night Epiphany)

One Act Production:

Instinct (Dir: Fiona Bennetts)

Director, One Act:

David Mitchell (The Death Of Katie Myers)

Actor, Male, Full Length:

John Boyce (Sex Cells)

Actor, Female, Full Length:

Nikki Conyers (The Hen Night Epiphany)

Actor, Male, One Act:

Noam Wegner (The Death Of Katie Myers)

Actor, Female, One Act:

Anna Willows (Instinct)


… and a big thank you to all who graced the Elmwood stage, and behind the scenes in 2015.


2017 Membership Subscriptions

Note: Full year Subs are now due (see Half Year details below).

2017 membership is now due (Membership runs 1 January 2017 to 31 Decembery 2017). Forms are available from our website, and can be completed on line or by post (a pdf file can be downloaded from this link). Form 2017.pdf

And donít forget the Opening Night 2-for-1 Deal (One click on your card gains two free tickets on opening night). On joining Elmwood Players, you become a member of Christchurch's friendliest amateur theatre society.


Membership is required for participation in a production. There are 2 subscription modes (Full year/Half year) and a third membership option available for each production only.

Full Year (1 January 2017 to 31 December 2017)


Individual: $40 - Includes 3 single comps
Family: $50 – Inc 4 single comps
Production: $15 perl production

Half year (1 July 2017 to 31 December 2017)


Individual: $20 – Inc 1 single comp
Family: $25 – Inc 2 single comps
Production: $15 per production

Note: All members receive copies of the Elmwood Players newsletter. In addition to the complimentary tickets, members are reminded that for every opening night of a main-bill (with the exception of children’s theatre and our one act play season) a two-for-one (2-4-1) admission applies.


  1. To renew/request membership, go to the website


  2. Fill in your details, select a membership type and click the submit button Ė donít forget to arrange online payment at the same time.


  3. Deposit appropriate amount into the Elmwood Players bank account (National Bank A/c # 06-0805-0007090-00), with your name as a reference.

Diary 2017

Keep These Dates Free

July 29

Auditions-“Heaven Help Us!”

August 10th - 12th

“Mix ‘n Match – a season of one act plays” Opens


"Heaven Help Us!" (Dir: Phil Dean) Opens

Programme 2017

Below is the planned programme of plays for 2017. Nearer the time of production open auditions for each of these plays will be advised on this web site, in newspaper advertising and in our Prompt Corner newsletter.


mix n match

"Mix & Match"

August 2017


Another season of short one act plays.

Heaven Help Us

"Heaven Help Us!"

by Tim Hambleton


Dir: Phil Dean


October 2017


In the waiting room of Heaven, Angela is filling in for St Peter. She is responsible for selecting those who enter, and unfortunately she has made a few mistakes lately.


A group of eclectic characters gather there and vie for entry through the Pearly Gates whilst also trying to outwit God’s nasty CEO.


Executive Team 2016-2017

Following on from our Annual Meeting February 2016 the following members were elected...



Garry Thomas


Susan Cameron

Website & Newsletter

Brian Sullivan

Committee (Membership)

Sarah Coursey


Klaus Hermanspahn


Sam Primrose



Sonya Cameron